colorless

i havent blogged inah while. idk why. maybe because i havent felt inspired. or maybe because i feel like no matter how many times i express the way i feel thru words that no1 will get me. some days i feel colorless. like something unfinished or messed up. other days i feel really good. good about the things around me. about the emotions i feel. and other days i feel like im just blending in. and i hate to blend in. i dnt like to look like other people or feel like other people. the other day i was getting off the train and some random lady approaced me to only say that she thought i was someone else. UGH i hate that. i hate when strangers approach me. i dont like feeling as if my secluded bubble has just been popped. like no. not a good feel. the other day my girlfriend mentioned in a few text messages that its like i only hang out with her. i barly hang with my friends, altho in my mind i dont have any. but i dont see the problem with that. friends arent real. they do mean things, they put their boyfriends before you, they use you they act like bitches. they bring drama. why would i want any of that. my girlfriend is not only my love but she is my bestfriend. shes the only person that has stayed true to me so why does she feel like me always wanting to be around her is bad? maybe i really am as annoying as she sometimes expresses but hey dealing with her ass isnt always a warm summer day in the park lol. speaking of summer, i cant wait till it gets warmer. i hate having to wear all these clothes and i hate this bad weather it just SUCKS!. i want to just wear a shirt, my jeans and my shoes thats it. i hate the winter. its the shortest season but yet it feels like the longest and most miserable. hummmm idk what else to write lol. that was just off the top of my head.